I get odd questions thrown at me daily. Some of them I can answer (which always impresses me!) but many, like why they call a banana peel a banana peel, I am simply at a loss. That's the question I got last night as I was leaving Leo's room after saying goodnight. I know part of it is a stall tactic but I honestly believe, in his ever-churning mind, he's been mulling this over and truly wants to know! I just stood there for a second, in the dark, and finally gave a little laugh and as I was closing his door behind me, told him he was a nutjob. Wrong? Probably. But answer me this: Why DO they call a banana peel a banana peel? I mean, okay, I know "peel" is another word for "skin" and that would have worked (in all honesty I didn't think of this until I left his room) but it's so boring an answer, isn't it? Besides, if I had thought of it and answered when he asked, it would have become a thing; Why do they call it a skin? Protect it from what? What kind of bugs? Where do they grow the bananas? Isn't Florida in the tropics? Doesn't Nana have a banana tree? When are we going to see Nana again? Are we going to Disney? Aren't we going for Cathy's birthday? ...and the banana peel mystery would be solved and dismissed in virtually the same instant!
As they age, the kids, especially Leo, can sometimes answer their own questions. "Mom, what do we evolve from? Oh, wait, Adam and Eve...duh!" I say, "Welllll...." and decide I've dodged that bullet and don't have the time or desire to go into the Jesus Fish with legs theory! He's not yet 8; he can wait for that viewpoint until he's old enough not to give me that blank stare. Or "How does Jewel make herself purr?" Um...and off I run (covertly, of course) to Google "cat purr reflex"; and if that can't help me, I just start praying he'll forget he asked me. Sometimes, I can simply tell him I don't know and that we'll Google it together later but because so much is running through his head we usually forget to look it up. It definitely depends on the depth of the question as to how long it remains in the forefront of his thinking. Example: I can bet he won't ask about the banana peel again...at least not until eating his next banana triggers it! But then I'll be ready!!
The other day we were watching the tail end of a Veronica's Closet rerun waiting for a kid-appropriate show to start and at the end, one of the guys blurts out, "I'm gay!" and there was gasping and crying from the cast members (I should mention he was actually on the alter about to marry a woman...but I digress). Cathy asked what "gay" meant and I simply said, "It's when boys like boys and girls like girls." Gene put his head in his hands and asked me what I'd started. But what can you do? Yes, there were bug-eyed looks from both Leo and Cat and I had to go a bit deeper (but not too much) about how some people are made that way just like "you're made the way you're made." They were satisfied with that answer. I'm guessing without having grown up with the taboo of homosexuality (at least to the degree we were) it made sense. More sense than how babies are born. That's another one I decided I should err on the side of honesty that when asked, I told them. Up until then babies were cut out of the mom's belly but then they heard me say that I only pushed twice with Cathy before she came out...another example of why you should do a quick look around before speaking! "Where do they come out?" Uh-oh! "There's a hole down there (pointing to the nether regions)." ...processing... processing ..."YOU POOP THEM OUT?!" Another heavy sigh, "No. That's not where they come out; there's another hole." Holy crap what have I done?!?!?!? "Oh. But I bet it looks like you're poopin' em out!!" An explosion of laughter with "poop them out" being repeated until I finally just left the room berating myself. This went on until I came back glaringly announcing that "that is eeeeeenough!" I had to work very hard at not cracking a smile myself!!
So I'm thinking as long as I have Google or can BS or at least be vague enough to get satisfaction without too much depth (depending on the question, of course! I mean, banana peels I can handle easy-peasy), and can tolerate the inappropriate giggling from time to time, I should be okay, right? This will be practice for the really scary and hard questions that come later...
....right?!
~Eileen Cassidy Bishop
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