A while back, as some of you know, our relatively new, 9 month-old puppy Buck injured his paw...badly. Running like a Gray Hound through the yard, we think he swiped his paw across one of those white metal downspouts and gashed, and I mean GASHED the pad of his front paw. Suffice it to say the porch and deck looked like a mass murder scene.
So at 9am on the first day of the Christmas Break, off I go, with crying kids whining that "Bucky's going to bleed to death!!!", to the emergency vet. $450 later we're home with a very tired Buck sporting the cutest green wrapping decorated with a candy cane up to his shoulder and wearing the dreaded Cone of Shame around his neck. He had the full treatment: cleaning, sedation, suturing, "reverse" sedation, adorable wrapping, and of course, lots of TLC from the staff (I'm not sure if that's included in the price but we'll assume it's a throw in). They were incredibly nice to Buck, to the kids, and to me (again, not sure if I paid for that).
As of yesterday, two and a half weeks later, our convalescent has had 5 bandage changes at $30 a pop. The act of bandaging is included in the initial $450, but not the actual gauze to wrap it. You think I'm kidding?! I'll show you my $150 in receipts. His first three were routine checks; the fourth was due to Buck deciding to break the gate doing 98 and test the water temperature in the pond out back by dipping not his UNbandaged paw in, but his BANDAGED one!! Okay, my fault for being stupid enough to think the gate would hold back a puppy jonesing for some backyard play. After that visit we were sent home another $30 lighter and given strict instructions to keep a watchful eye on the little delinquent and when we can't, alas, the dreaded Cone of Shame! So short story long, three days later, following our usual Sunday morning routine, we're running around trying to get to church before the priest starts up the aisle. We get Buck into his crate and off we go (we actually pushed past the priest at the back of the church to make sure we were pewed up before he could start up the aisle before us!) Sunday obligation behind us, we arrive home much calmer and discussing what to have for lunch when Cat announces while squatting in front of his crate, "Buck took his bandage off!!" Yep, that's right; WE FORGOT THE DAMN CONE!!!
This is not a battle he will win. I keep telling him through gritted teeth, "You will not win this one, Buck. I AM THE ALPHA DOG!!" I say this as I'm putting him in the car for our sixth visit to Dr. Givemeallyourmoney at 7pm on Sunday.
They've decided to splint him to a) keep pressure off his almost-healed paw, b) to make it harder for him to lick or bite at the wrapping. But Buck has a Gene Simmons tongue so we continue with the Cone of Shame.
Step, step, step, clomp, bang into the wall with cone. Step, step, step, clomp, bang into the wall with cone. All he needs is an eye-patch and a parrot to complete the Drunken Pirate look! He's already taken all my gold so he's got the part down!
Oh, and they didn't charge me for the splinting this time...I wonder if it had anything to do with me openly weeping in the office! Hmmm......
~Eileen Cassidy Bishop
No comments:
Post a Comment