Working Girl

Here's a question:  Does everyone get the emails that read "Moms! You can work from home and earn up to $10,000 a week!" I mean, I get INUNDATED with them! How do they know I'm a housemom? Is it based on the times of day or the frequency of my Facebook posts? Maybe.  That's why I'm curious if anyone who posts midday more than once or twice gets targeted.  And is it just assumed that stay-at-home moms are bored and have so much time on their hands they need a filler?  Probably by some.  And there certainly are moms out there who are but I'm guessing that in order to earn $10,000 a week you're probably working constantly as opposed to filling in the tedious times.

The funny part is I'm probably busier than I was with two babies 15 months apart toddling around and even before that, when I was selling staffing services and commuting four hours roundtrip three days a week! The only difference is now I can pee with the door closed, choose to stay in my jammies past 7:00 a.m. most days, and choose where, when and for whom I work. I DO work from home already...I am the CEO of Bishop, LP with duties including but not limited to bookkeeping, cooking and cleaning, writing, and appointment making for everyone in the company. I am available for my mom to take to her appointments and do miscellaneous tasks. On top of that I am a volunteer court mediator two or three days a week spending my mornings gathering some juicy stories for cocktail party fodder and hopefully settling cases filed in various courts.  This one is actually my favorite because I get to actually see and talk to people during working and school hours!

But that's only a few times a week and I'm usually done by noon.  I can't (and won't) clean my house everyday or go shopping everyday.  I'm not sure I have enough creative juices to write everyday or work on crafts and such.  I'm a relatively intelligent woman and sometimes feel I really should be doing something more; especially now that the kids are in middle school. But I don't want to have  to go to work.  I don't want to be torn between getting to work or staying home with my sick child or having to leave work early for appointments or picking up said sick kids from school early.  Or being there when and if my mom needs me.  Of course, if I had to, I would and will if there is the financial need or I can't stand being along with my own self any longer, God forbid.  And I will simply have to deal with these excuses just like every working person does.  But for now I will keep status quo.

There is, though, one thing that has bothered me since my last day or work back in 2003 (yes, I wrote that right!) is not having my own money. Gene and I always pooled our income and have from the beginning of our marriage so paying bills and everyday expenses and even treats have always been paid from one account so the change was pretty transparent once we became a one-income household. But it was a real burr in my saddle when it came to getting things for Gene; I hated that he basically bought his own gifts and I just picked them out. It didn't matter than he said I was crazy to think that.  It's what I thought (and still think).  So I solved my problem and got a job!

Yes, I did just say that I wasn't ready to be obligated to anyone to show up on time or at all.  But I fixed that.  I've become self-employed!  Anyone who is a Facebook friend knows that I sell those Jamberry nail wraps that no one has heard of...yet! I work when I want and if I don't want to I don't have to.  I satisfy my social animal by holding home parties (think Tupperware but prettier) and talking to random people who are nice enough to notice and compliment my nails.  I feed my addiction with my own money and have quite a bit left over. If I really wanted to dedicate the time to it, like many of my Jamberry associates, I could make a really good living at it. This year I'm proud to say that although we used house money for the Christmas presents, I used my money to buy Gene his presents...and they were pretty damn nice if I do say so myself!  I know this won't impress many people but if you haven't been reliant on someone else financially as an adult it's hard to understand how important it is to feel even a bit independent.

So for now I'll be a Jamberry consultant prettying the world one nail at a time and ignore those emails about earning money from home up to $10,000 per month (sure).  When and if I'm ready to go out and get a job working for someone else, it will be something that makes me happy because being lucky enough to be a Domestic Goddess, a Jamberry consultant, and being available when someone may need me "right now", makes me happy and I'm not going to give that up for something unless that something makes me equally as happy...and that's a pretty tall order!

In the meantime, ask me about Jamberry and I'll happily fill you in and send you a sample! Hey, it's my blog so I can shamelessly plug my wares!

~Eileen Cassidy Bishop

Decisions...

I've been cleaning closets and drawers, purging, tossing, giving away, selling (actually, not selling; that's a hassle) in an effort to try and make my daily life a bit easier and calmer.  It's working too.  I have really culled down quite a bit, I mean, who needs six frying pans if you don't have your own cooking show?  Or enough serving dishes to have a cocktail party for 100 unless you're lobbying for votes?  Or more jeans that Levy Strauss Inc. and more dresses and skirts and sweaters and blouses than the Dress Barn?  Don't get me wrong; the wardrobe is still pretty stocked!  Crazy part is, I usually wear the same four or five tops and bottoms all the time!

Why is my closet filled with things that no longer fit my body or my style? Why do I have skirts taking up space that will NEVER make it past my hips and haven't since the '90's? Why do I have so many pots and pans in my kitchen and basement I could open a restaurant supply store?  Thanks to my stint with Pampered Chef, I have two shelves in my basement filled with UNOPENED boxes! Why? I'll never, ever, ever use the mini bundt cake stoneware nor bake enough cookies at one time to need six cooling racks...SIX!!  NEVER!!

It was actually kind of liberating, though kind of sad, donating quite a bit of things including four pair of boots that were either no longer my style, or too painful to wear for longer than 20 minutes, or all of the above.  I freed up room in my closet while hopefully giving someone the opportunity to have something that they otherwise wouldn't have.  I have a friend newly single trying to stock her kitchen so it's been nice being able to give her some things here and there and keeping her from having to spend the money buying new.  Heck, mine are barely-used-like-new anyway!  There truly is some truth in the giving is better than the receiving, honestly.

I think one of my biggest problems causing my almost-hoarding status is my love of shiny new pennies. I am the one who falls victim to the racks strategically placed in the middle of the aisle at the department store or the must-have little do-dads placed at the end of the cashier lane that you buy because you've been staring at them for so long while waiting for your turn to check out you've thought of eight reasons why you absolutely have to have them! You skip out of the store thrilled with your new purchases and all the money you saved with coupons. You wear or use them once, maybe twice, then forget about them until the next thing you know you're giving them away and writing about them.

Getting rid of material things really isn't that difficult once you realize the reward of a tidier, more easily handled every day life.  But what about the emotional, memorable, or sentimental things? What about the people in your life that don't bring you as much happiness as they do sadness or disappointment who we hold on to simply because we've always had them and couldn't really picture life without them? Admittedly, I'm not the most sentimental girl on the block.  I think I used to be as a kid; hanging on to dried up and crusty prom and dance corsages and the invitations that went with them or pictures of old boyfriends. I don't have any of those things anymore unless I'm still friends with the exes and we can pull those pictures out and have a chuckle over them. I do keep hand-written love notes and homemade cards because I can read them or look at them and see someone's heart and renew my gratitude for those authors and artists in my life.

But those things are still material things, aren't they?  What about the actual people in our lives?  I don't think there's anyone in my life right now that I would want to live without.  But I wonder sometimes if maybe I'm too emotionally invested in someone who may not be worthy of what I have to offer.  I wonder if I might not be a calmer, more loving and attentive person to those in my life who would truly appreciate anything I have to give them; time, attention, support.  Or maybe just presence.  Presence for talking, laughing, leaning, loving, or just living in the moment happier than if I hadn't been there to share it with them.  Someone who will think of me and smile instead of clench their teeth and stress ever-so slightly at the thought of me.  Even though those are the people who could benefit the most by accepting only a portion of what I could give them.

Do I sound a bit like I'm blowing my own horn?  Yes, I think I do too.  But I know for a fact that for some people, I'm all that and a bag of chips and those people accept what I offer and give back to me tenfold. Those are the people with whom I want to surround myself.  And those that don't? Well, depending on the association I have with them I am pretty sure I won't stop trying to offer what I have but will try very hard to accept that they simply may not need therefore want it. Of course I'm hurt and insulted that they don't but maybe those people just can't spread themselves so thin or don't feel they can give back so don't take. Or maybe, like I just said myself, don't feel they're getting from me what they give. Maybe I'm just like those I'm backing away from...at least in the eyes of that person or those people. If that's the case, I hope I care enough to notice and either try harder or realize that it may be for the best...kind of a mutual break-up.

So just like I will continue to look in my closet at all the things I loved enough to buy but really don't serve me anymore and let go of to make room for something else, I will continue to look in my heart at all the people in it and decide how much room they should take up in there and if I might be better off giving them a smidgen less room in case there's someone out there sitting on the rack in the middle of the aisle just waiting for me to take them home.  

~Eileen Cassidy Bishop