Is This As Good As It Gets?

Well this has been, to say the least, quite a Lenten/Easter Season for the Bishop family!  It's been a season of awakenings, questions, doubts, concerns, and fear; most centering on and for my 10 year old son, Leo.  For those of you that don't know us well, my husband Gene and I are devout Catholics, whereas, we have a firm, strong, deep belief in the teachings of Christ and His Catholic Church.  We talk a lot about Jesus with the kids.  We ask "What would Jesus do?" and "Do you think that's something that Jesus would want you to do/say?"  His name is not wielded like a weapon but as a wonderful teaching tool.  What better example of love than He?  Yes, sometimes when you're tired or achy, a Sunday Mass of kneeling and standing, standing and kneeling can be torturous.  Our response to their laments is usually, "One hour.  One hour to give to Jesus after all he gave to us.  It's all He asks for.  Doesn't really compare to dying on a cross, does it?"  Some may think that's a harsh thing to say to an eight or 10 year old, and they are welcome to their opinion, but we, as their parents, think that at a young age, children need to realize exactly what He, His mother, and His father gave up for us.

So our Leo has been reeling for the past two weeks riddled with utter confusion on what happens after we die (very typical, by the way, for his age).  It's been pretty hard around here come evening prime time.  Just as Leo is winding down, his crazy bright mind starts churning and fears of total blankness quickly overtake him and he's literally sick with fear and doubt.

The first time this happened, about two weeks ago, it was pretty scary for me.  He had gotten so upset that he was gagging over the toilet.  Between gasps, he asked randomly, or so I thought, "Are they absolutely SURE we come from monkeys?!"  Homina homina homina....so that's where this is coming from!  So I begin my bumbling explanation using words like "paleontologist" and "similar" and "likeness" and "no proof" and and and...after a few minutes of this I simply asked, "What do we believe?"  He replied, "Adam and Eve were the first people on Earth and that man is from dust and from dust we'll return."  Whew! "Right!" ......"But how do we really know there's a heaven?!"  Ugh.

There's the rub.  We don't know, do we?  At least not as far as science is concerned.  Stephen Hawking will tell you that the concept of heaven is made up by people afraid of the dark.  He feels we are computers and when our "CPU's" stop functioning, we simply turn off. Period. Black. End of consciousness.  Holy hard drive, Batman, that makes me really really sad!!!  Not that I believe his theory, but that he does.  He's basically saying that for overcoming his amazingly debilitating physical issues, for obtaining umpteen degrees and awards for his great mind and spirit, his reward for bearing who knows what in his personal battles, is nothing.  Darkness.  His beautiful mind will simply cease.  Again, it makes me terribly sad for him.  However, he has to be allowed his theory and his opinion just like with any other subject.  But I will say, just as we don't know there's a heaven, he doesn't know there isn't, does he?

But back to my dilemma!  So the next day, after getting him calm enough to fall asleep, Leo awoke completely fine.  "You okay?" "I'm cool." Hmmm....okay!  Three nights later, here we go again! A good two hours of basic 10 year old freak out.  So after talking to friends, I read Heaven is For Real by Todd Burpo.  It's a great book written about an almost four year old boy named Colton and his near death experience in heaven.  I tell Leo and Cathy about it, paraphrasing and reading text from the book.  They're bug-eyed and curious..."can we call Colton?  I'd really like to talk to him."  It went really well!  Leo kissed me good-night, told me he loved me and that he wasn't afraid anymore.  Yeh!!  Wow! All my problems should be this easy to solve, right?!  Yeah, two nights later...

So long story longer, I think it's just a matter of letting him eventually come to terms with it himself.  He's watched a couple of interviews with Colton, he's spoken to our Parish priest, his parents have droned on and on; now it's time for him to  process and deal with it his own way.  If that means spooning with him until he's asleep or reassuring him with our own faith or simply trying to redirect him with "happier thoughts", that's what we'll do.  Hey, the way I look at it, I had a good couple days thinking parenting was a breeze!! I'll bet that's a rarity in itself!

*Just as a side note, I didn't write this piece to start a debate on religion v. science.  Like all my other blog entries, I simply wanted to share my experience and what I got out of it.  However, comments and opinions are ALWAYS welcome, but please remember...be nice! :)  ...oh, and advice is even MORE welcome!