I lost someone very dear to me a few days ago. My uncle died suddenly and although he was over 80, not in a million years, when my mom called, did I expect this news. Even as I write this I'm fighting back utter sadness.
I think my sadness is not only because of his death, but because of a collection of things. Eight months ago, I had two wonderful uncles, my Aunt had a husband and a brother, and my mom had two brothers. Maybe it's the finality of it all; other than my brothers, there are no men left from my childhood. My own father passed almost 28 years ago. The second generation of the Gans Clan has no fathers...my uncle was the last. Farewell to the first generation's testosterone, you did well!! Thanks to you and a good Irish Catholic upbringing, there are about a billion of us running around!! I can certainly take some solace from that.
Maybe I'm this upset because I know the older I get the older the adults from my childhood get and I morn for not only the people I've already lost, but for the someday loss of those still living. I try not to dwell on it, but at times like these, I just can't help it. Whenever I mention this to my mother, that I worry about her dying, she always has the same response: "What do you want Eileen? I can't live forever! Heck, I don't want to!!"
But they all can, can't they? They can live on in the funny and wonderful stories we'll tell at family get-togethers and Christmas and Thanksgiving Dinners. We'll tell them with smiles on our faces and a warmth in our hearts.
So thanks for letting me babble. I've convinced myself that we are all, in fact, going to live forever! As long as the testosterone holds out and babies keep being made, we'll all live on in hearts and minds. Some of our stories will become legends and wives tales simply because some of them are so silly, strange, sad, or sweet that they can't have happened. The stories will change slightly over the years, most likely, like the telephone game we played as children but the bones will never change.
So I'll take comfort in knowing that while we're down here, they're up there, laughing and smiling as much as we do and when we leave this world and go to the next, they'll be waiting with outstretched arms to give us the hugs we've missed for so long.
So good-bye, Uncle Gene. I hope the golf courses are well-groomed up there and that your every shot is long and straight!!
Why don't you do what Auntie Ann Marie Cassidy McAteer did and write and let someone find it one day and post all your stories, drawings, doodles, holiday feelings, political impression of a day, a winter snow storm, a great pot of chili ingredients, the length and width of a design sketched, a ribbon folded, an old Mother's Day card - you get my drift - and the gift - we are ALL so on fleeting facebook and delted emails and few blog, although I must ask you how - and if you are printing these, then you would have an instant journal - but just like the intentions of putting the 1,000 photos of our children's lives in their own scrapbooks - it is hard to get to the final finished product - before life interrupts us. So think about some Irish songs, stories, and type them and print and save for your children to read when they get older. I LOVE Edna Mae's comment about her not living forever - inspirational. We just lost my eldest niece, Teri Armstrong (Lynn's daughter), husband, Steven, age 46, he had foot surgery and threw a clot, leaving her with a 10 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. Her father, my bro in law for 50 years, Les, died 14 days later - so October was very sad and his funeral was on my 60th bday so we did not celebrate - 61 we will - but he would have laughed that he screwed it up! Anyway, may I live life more, love more, care more, be kinder to strangers, serve more, complain less, etc. Having said ALL this: the generation of Uncle Gene's will never be seen again - they are a special special breed - just special! xoxo Love Cuz Debbie Grace
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