Can someone tell me what happened to my sweet, lovey-dovey, smiley little boy? He was here just a second ago! Has anyone noticed or heard of any UFOs in the area 'cause I'm thinking he may have been snatched and replaced by a cranky, overly sensitive, stingy little non-sharing alien who's mean to his sister and fresh to his parents. Anybody? Anything? No, didn't think so.
The thing is, I know the real kid is in there somewhere. I see glimpses of him often but not often enough. I hear him giggling with his sister and playing happily often. But not often enough. I feel him snuggling with me in the early mornings chatting with me or watching Arthur and I think today will be the day sweetness will overcome meanness and that sweet son and brother will come back one hundred percent. But it's fleeting. His sister gets up shortly after and wants to snuggle as well. And so it begins...the alien rears his head and the sun of another day shines upon his face.
I will not give up. I will continue to use intense therapy of love and patience mixed in with direction, re-direction, and discipline and I know that eventually the good being will take over the creepy one and peace will once again reign over the land (or at least my house). The mission will not be easy. Nails may be chewed, hair (specifically mine) will be pulled out, tales will be tattled, and feelings will be hurt. But I have donned my mother's armor and am prepared.
I just hope victory comes sooner rather than later as though my love for him is immeasurable, my patience is very measureable; one needs only a very short stick!
~Eileen Cassidy Bishop
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Pillow Thinking
Don't you miss the days when you could simply turn off the light, flip over onto your side, and be asleep in five minutes? I do. I do a LOT! Everyone knows the feeling; your mind starts racing...what do I have to do tomorrow? Who do I have to call? I really should have registered the car today so I have it by the end of the month. Why did I have to yell at the kids like that? Why did the kids make me yell at them like that? (see how I turned that around right there?)
Even when I am DOG tired, as soon as my head hits the pillow....BAM! Wide awake while my husband and dog snore away incessently...that's the salt in the wound right there! I tell myself I should get up and write or at the very least, make a couple of notes on the pad I keep on my bedside table, as I think my best ideas come at either bedtime or at 2:30a.m. when I wake up in a panic about...see above! But I don't. Instead I beat myself up and fight with myself to STOP THINKING. We all do that. I'm sure there are heads nodding emphatically reading this and thinking, "I know exactly how she feels!"
So how do I fix this? Hmmm.....make a list today to answer the question of what I have to do tomorrow and who I have to call? Register the car sooner than two weeks before it expires? Stop yelling at the kids? (yeah, right) It's doable, I know it is, just like reaching over and grabbing my notepad in the middle of the night. Ahem.
I love reading articles about how incredibly easy it is to organize your life, your house, your family...it's as easy as 1,2, 3! "Come on, now, no more excuses! Just follow these 25 easy steps and within only a few short weeks you'll be able to lay your head down at night and sleep peacefully." In a perfect world there are 25 easy steps...well, in a perfect world I guess I wouldn't need the steps in the first place because I'd be organized and happy and channeling Donna Reed. In my world, though, I get to step 4 and I start to wane. By step 9 I'm starting to line up my excuses and by step 14 I've added that article's magazine to my recycling pile never to lay eyes on again. "Easy steps"....riiiight!
So here it is...I'm not going to beat myself up. Well, I'm going to try not to anyway. I'll renew my website favorites to include Flylady.net and pick and choose what I'll do and listen to, but perhaps not always take, advice on how to get it done. I'll tell myself, and try to believe, that tomorrow is another day. I'll register the car, I'll call so-and-so, and I won't yell at the kids. I'll try not to yell at the kids. I'll try not to yell at the kids too much.
I'll give myself a clean slate every morning and try to give myself a break. It's the best I can offer myself.
~Eileen Cassidy Bishop
Even when I am DOG tired, as soon as my head hits the pillow....BAM! Wide awake while my husband and dog snore away incessently...that's the salt in the wound right there! I tell myself I should get up and write or at the very least, make a couple of notes on the pad I keep on my bedside table, as I think my best ideas come at either bedtime or at 2:30a.m. when I wake up in a panic about...see above! But I don't. Instead I beat myself up and fight with myself to STOP THINKING. We all do that. I'm sure there are heads nodding emphatically reading this and thinking, "I know exactly how she feels!"
So how do I fix this? Hmmm.....make a list today to answer the question of what I have to do tomorrow and who I have to call? Register the car sooner than two weeks before it expires? Stop yelling at the kids? (yeah, right) It's doable, I know it is, just like reaching over and grabbing my notepad in the middle of the night. Ahem.
I love reading articles about how incredibly easy it is to organize your life, your house, your family...it's as easy as 1,2, 3! "Come on, now, no more excuses! Just follow these 25 easy steps and within only a few short weeks you'll be able to lay your head down at night and sleep peacefully." In a perfect world there are 25 easy steps...well, in a perfect world I guess I wouldn't need the steps in the first place because I'd be organized and happy and channeling Donna Reed. In my world, though, I get to step 4 and I start to wane. By step 9 I'm starting to line up my excuses and by step 14 I've added that article's magazine to my recycling pile never to lay eyes on again. "Easy steps"....riiiight!
So here it is...I'm not going to beat myself up. Well, I'm going to try not to anyway. I'll renew my website favorites to include Flylady.net and pick and choose what I'll do and listen to, but perhaps not always take, advice on how to get it done. I'll tell myself, and try to believe, that tomorrow is another day. I'll register the car, I'll call so-and-so, and I won't yell at the kids. I'll try not to yell at the kids. I'll try not to yell at the kids too much.
I'll give myself a clean slate every morning and try to give myself a break. It's the best I can offer myself.
~Eileen Cassidy Bishop
Thursday, July 1, 2010
I Want to be a Rock Star When I Grow Up!
Since joining Facebook and finding long-lost friends, I've realized how many of my old friends actually pursued and are still pursuing their dreams of rock and roll stardom...and doing a great job and having a blast doing it! People who I thought were in a band because it was the cool thing to do or the best way to get laid were, unbeknownst to me, doing it truly because they loved it!!
I loved singing when I was in high school and after but I succumbed to the practicality of life and instead of picking up and scouring the Village Voice for bands in need of a lead singer, I picked up the Star Ledger and scoured the classified ads for companies in need of a sales rep with expertise in staffing. Whoa! Now that's exciting, huh? But as a 21 year old living on my own and in dire need of making the rent, it was as exciting as I could get.
Now, years later, the thought of singing in front of a crowd sends me running for the Zanex! I had to read a scripture passage for my brother's wedding recently and thought for sure I would throw up as I walked to the alter! How impressed was I that I not only DIDN'T throw up, I didn't trip, lose my place, or stutter once! Of course, I think I was in a bit of a fugue state so my memories might be a bit vague.
Sometimes I try singing a bit louder than usual in church and in my imagination people are awed at my suppressed talent.
So here's to my wonderful old friends who didn't give up and didn't suppress one damn thing and to show for it have, if NOTHING else, a fantastic scrapbook of old memories and new memories waiting to be made. So here's to you, Melanie, Vinnie, Mike, Steve, and others. Please keep it going so I can continue to live out my personal dreams of stardom vicariously through you all!
~Eileen Cassidy Bishop
I loved singing when I was in high school and after but I succumbed to the practicality of life and instead of picking up and scouring the Village Voice for bands in need of a lead singer, I picked up the Star Ledger and scoured the classified ads for companies in need of a sales rep with expertise in staffing. Whoa! Now that's exciting, huh? But as a 21 year old living on my own and in dire need of making the rent, it was as exciting as I could get.
Now, years later, the thought of singing in front of a crowd sends me running for the Zanex! I had to read a scripture passage for my brother's wedding recently and thought for sure I would throw up as I walked to the alter! How impressed was I that I not only DIDN'T throw up, I didn't trip, lose my place, or stutter once! Of course, I think I was in a bit of a fugue state so my memories might be a bit vague.
Sometimes I try singing a bit louder than usual in church and in my imagination people are awed at my suppressed talent.
So here's to my wonderful old friends who didn't give up and didn't suppress one damn thing and to show for it have, if NOTHING else, a fantastic scrapbook of old memories and new memories waiting to be made. So here's to you, Melanie, Vinnie, Mike, Steve, and others. Please keep it going so I can continue to live out my personal dreams of stardom vicariously through you all!
~Eileen Cassidy Bishop
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