Signs?

I was getting ready for church yesterday morning, rather begrudgingly due to a wee bit of a wine headache (ahem).  We (or maybe just me) contemplated going to the evening Mass at another church and just hang out in the morning, but we, or maybe just I, was afraid we'd wind up not going so we decided to keep to our regular 11 o'clock.  And as happens just about every day, at least once, my thoughts turned to my late Aunt Terry...Therese (for the Saint).  I was thinking about the last time my mom and I saw her and what we said to her both privately and in front of the rest of the family...her children.  I remembered what my mom said to her; "you said you would teach me how to pray. Teach me, I'm here."  But she didn't get the chance; she died that night.  Standing in the shower one memory lead to another and another after that.  It was one of the few-ish times I let myself really dwell on her, my aunt, my go-to girl who let me complain about everything and everyone and never tried to 'fix' it; never tried to give me an answer or tell me it wasn't that bad or I should be patient and it will 'take care itself'.  She would nod knowingly, crack a joke, and we'd move on.  There was never EVER a time with her that I didn't smile.  

So off we go, the four of us, to morning Mass.  My mom, the day before, sold her Florida house, enabling her to move back up to New Jersey (to be closer to most of us) so I wanted to offer the Mass in thanksgiving for taking this worry off all of our plates.  Offering the Mass to someone or something is something she would do, my mom, which started me thinking, briefly, of my aunt (Mom's little sister) again.  However, having to give my full attention to what was happening in the there and now, I pushed it back until another time.

I'm not sure if you're familiar with the Catholic Mass, but before the Consecration of the Host, which is when the bread becomes body, we offer special intentions.  They range anywhere from world peace to deceased family members.  After each intention, the congregation replies "Lord hear our prayer." It's nice.  Well at this particular Mass, after the morning of memories and last-minute decisions to attend our "regular" Mass, the Deacon says, "and for the dearly departed, especially Therese Yates."  We just looked at each other, my family and me.  We smiled, got welled up, pulled ourselves together and got back to it.  Both Gene and I had forgotten that we scheduled it for her when she passed away in June.  It was a really lovely surprise.  Good thing we came!

Lots of people talk about loved ones leaving little signs that they're with them still.  Dimes found, cardinals in the yard, a meaningful song comes on the radio, that kind of thing.  It never happened to me...or at least I never took notice.  When my dad passed away I had a few dreams, but that was it.  I just didn't buy it but it brought those people peace and that's what's important.  Well I think I finally got a sign!  It's all I've been thinking about since.  Coincidence?  Probably.  But since it brought a smile to my face and filled me with special, and yes, a little sad, feelings, I'm buying in.  She and I spoke often of religion so of course it came during church, right? 

I just wanted to share mostly because it is cathartic for me and unknowingly, you helped me cleanse a bit.  But also I wanted to write something about Therese to give those of you who didn't have the joy of knowing her, an idea of the kind of person she was.  I hadn't up until now as I was afraid it would read like a eulogy or obituary.  So I took this opportunity to even a little bit, introduce you to her.

If you didn't get to meet her, you missed out!  She was funny, smart, the queen of sarcasm and straight faced delivery.  A true friend and confidante.  She ran her church's Outreach program like she was the CEO of a company, and it showed.  She was so fun to be around, whether it be in a casino in Atlantic City or just sitting in her backyard poolside.  

She threw the best Thanksgiving dinners.  It was always the official start of the holidays for us all.  You never received an invitation; you were just expected to be there.  She created beautiful and detailed and huge Christmas villages that were always ready by Thanksgiving so everyone could enjoy them.  She was generous.  She thought of everyone's children at Christmas time and always had a little something for them. My kids were two of many recipients who received gingerbread house kits at Thanksgiving to have ready for Christmas...maybe she was trying to turn all of us into village builders too!  Like with her own children, she would get right down with them and play with her grandchildren and grandnieces and nephews like she was one of them.  I could go on and on but the bottom line?  She was awesome.  She wasn't supposed to leave this soon and she broke a lot of hearts when she left.  She is missed every single day.

So as this is starting to sound like an obit after all, let me close by apologizing to all those people I may have rolled my eyes at listening to or reading about their "signs from the other side".  Whether they were coincidence or a beloved with a day pass from Heaven, it made you smile.  It gave you warm feelings and comfort feeling that you're being watched over even after they left this world.  So keep on looking for dimes and cardinals and songs!  Any time you're reminded of someone who's passed on is a good time.

~Eileen Cassidy Bishop

I almost didn't post this because I don't want to offend anyone.  I honestly believe the signs are there if we choose to see them.  Perhaps not left because they miss us or are worried about us, but because they're telling us their fine...more than fine even!  I think I simply need to pay more attention.  For all I know, my dad, my aunts and uncles (they've all passed on now), grandparents; they've been reaching out for ages but I never took the call.

A Tree Grows...Hopefully

One of my elderly neighbors tripped and fell and hurt herself quite badly in front of my house a few weeks ago.  The sidewalk, as like most in my small development, are uneven due to the town planting trees with surface roots in the grass island opposite the front lawn.  I felt terribly seeing her with her hand in a sling and her poor face looking as if she went a couple rounds with Ali!  It was a little scary too, when you hear that someone falls on your property.  You worry if there will be repercussion.  But she's a good egg and a great neighbor so I pushed that aside.

But as quickly as you can say "lawsuit", the township guys were out marking most rises (but not all, which I don't get) the gas and electric company came out and marked the lines, and this morning the concrete company is out ripping up the old sidewalks and framing out for the new.  While I'm terribly sorry she was hurt, I'm glad that they're stepping up and doing the right thing.

But here's my issue, because, well, I gotta have an issue, right?  The concrete guys dug up my invisible dog fence (the only thing that keeps the vagabond from darting through the neighborhood like a moving target for cars!)  They fixed it when my alarm went off, and fixed it just fine, so not really an issue...now.  The second issue, which cannot be "fixed" per say, is said concrete guys dug so close to one of the trees (a beautiful flowering pear) that they dug it up until it was at a 30 degree angle.  The result?  Said township guys came out with chainsaws and actually took the tree down!!  Why?  It was perfectly healthy!  It wasn't sick or blocking wires!  It simply needed to be up-righted and the soil tamped down around it.  It would have certainly been worth a try at any rate!  Makes me mad (and sad.)  The township will promise to replace it, I'm sure.  Thing is, they took a tree down over five years ago from said grass island due to disease, promised to replace it and, well, still waiting.  So based on that, I'm not too confident.

My issue isn't only no longer have a lovely tree to gaze at out my front window, but that it was removed without a thought because it was easier than trying to save it.  My township has a tree company on retainer so why couldn't they have been called?  Well, maybe not as they're usually called to take DOWN trees (some of the most beautiful and oldest in town).

I'm no tree-hugger.  However, I'm so sick of seeing things sacrificed for either convenience or to make or save a couple of dollars.  There is an empty lot at the end of town.  A HUGE empty lot located where other warehouses sit.  One of the companies decided to expand their facility which I think is great that their business is doing so well.  Problem is, instead of using the giant empty lot located across the street and less than 100 feet from the existing warehouse, they tear town a beautiful wooded area because it's easier than, what?, putting in a walking bridge or pedestrian traffic light?!

There's an empty warehouse in this same area that is absolutely huge.  Like HUGE!  With office space within.  So someone explain to me why yet another company is tearing it down to put a new one on the exact sight.  Please, there has to be a reason, right?  Nope, no reason other than it's easier and cheaper to raze the existing warehouse than to update it.  Oh, and faster of course, because everything today has to be done yesterday.

We vacationed down the Shore this summer and fell in love with a sweet little cottage-y house for sale about a block from the beach.  It was beautifully and lovingly maintained; it was obvious.  Just so pretty and quaint in among these Goliath duplexes that rent for $5,000 an week and sell for $2+ million.  So for giggles, we looked it up on Zillow and it was priced at $1,250,000!!  What?!  No way!!  But then we looked closer at the listing and it said "quaint little home or a great site to rebuild".  Ah, now I get it!  Even though this house is in fine shape and well-maintained (per the listing), they'd rather sell the lot to a builder who will tear it down and put up yet another monster house (blocking the ocean views from all of the people living across the street three houses wide), wasting this beautiful house in which a family may have been raised or, at the very least, a house that saw years of happy families during the Summer months.

Why?  Because it will make MORE MONEY!!  What....a....waste!!!

So as you can tell by now, this rant has no point; it's just me thinking out loud and tricking you into being my audience and letting me annoy you.  And maybe to plant a new seed or watering the existing one already planted in your psyche.  I just think the Depression Era viewpoint of "waste not want not" and the New Age "Reuse Recycle Reduce" has to be followed before we are like Logan's Run; living in a marble and glass dome because we've destroyed our environment to the point of near distinction. (and if you've never seen the movie, you should)  I'm not saying re-use your teabags and paper towels (though I'm guilty of the latter), just be more aware of what you're buying to ultimately toss or fixing what you've already bought instead of replacing it. 

Okay, now I'm starting to annoy myself and the air is significantly thinner up here on my soapbox!

~ Eileen Cassidy Bishop

See You in September.....at school!

The kids are back in school two days now.  Yesterday I had an appointment that took up the morning so pretty much had no time for myself.  So today? Today I'm still in my jammies at 11am having just finished doing my nails.  Yup! I do like me some September!!  The rough mornings of waking them earlier than their internal alarm clocks go off and a half hour AFTER their external alarm clocks are completely worth it!

But on the other hand...the house is SO quiet! I have the TV on in the other room to keep me company. Hmmm, maybe I should put on Springer; then I'll feel like the kids are still here yelling at each other. Nah, not that lonely! I've made some calls, scheduled some appointments, had heart-to-heart talks with the dogs and older cat to try to not scare or eat the new kitten.  I'm not sure they were listening though.  The kids made their beds before they left so I don't even have that; though again, not that lonely or bored!

And please don't misunderstand; I absolutely adore my kids!  Obvious to those who've read any, if not most, of my previous blog posts but perhaps not so much to those reading for the first time.  They are my world, my breath, my heartbeat that keeps me going every day.  I can't imagine my life without them and have a hard time remembering what it was like before they arrived (and I lived almost 40 years before they came into the picture!)  They make me laugh, cry, scream, and reach deep to answer questions only their brilliant, curious minds could conjure!  They are pretty, and healthy, and athletic, and as snappy as all get-out.  They make me, even on my worst of days, thankful.

But seriously?  24/7 for over two months without a break?  Even Mother Theresa herself would long for the first day of school.  Doesn't absence make the heart grow fonder?  Bring it!!  If only for six hours a day.  Honestly, I'm not sure I could go a whole lot longer than that without them!

~Eileen Cassidy Bishop